The Harder Parts of Adventure

So it has been over a month…if there’s even anyone out there still checking this blog, I apologize. Allow me to catch you up…

My trip to Spain was very nice. I enjoyed lots of good food and wine, air conditioning, rain (for the first time in 6 months) and some serious time with CNN. It was great to see a friend from home, though unfortunately, another friend who was supposed to join us got stranded in Germany because of all the volcano nonsense in Iceland. All in all, it was a nice weeklong break from life in Senegal. It’s strange how going to the movies or wandering around lush green gardens feels surreal, while bartering in Wolof or taking sept places feels completely normal these days…

Another thing that surprised me about vacation was how hard it was to come back. When I left I was feeling great about life here, so it caught me off guard that I came back from Spain rather short on motivation. In retrospect, I think it happened because seeing someone from home triggered the first real bout of homesickness I’ve had since leaving home back in August. And its times like that when I’d defy anyone to honestly say that questions like, “What am I really doing here?” don’t pass through their head.

It was while I was trying to re-establish my routine and motivate myself that I got some extremely sad news from home…three weeks ago, my Grandpa passed away. I knew going into Peace Corps that there was a good chance I’d never see him again; but of course, knowing that and having it actually come to be are two very different things.

I think when a person you are close to passes away, all you want to do is be with other people who knew and loved them, to take time to remember them together. That being said, being so far away from my family was incredibly hard. I was able to talk with everyone a fair bit in the days following Grandpa’s death, but all I wanted to do was be at home. Though, it was fortunate that I was among friends here when I found out (rather than at site alone), and they were great and incredibly supportive.

So that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. I debated whether or not to write about these past few weeks at all, but in the end I felt I should. In spite of how bad I am at updating, I do want this blog to be an honest chronicle of my life in Peace Corps, as much for myself as for everyone back home. So I decided I can’t just write about the good things and leave out what has been the hardest time in my service so far. Peace Corps isn’t always sunshine and roses after all.

Now that you know what’s been going on, don’t worry…this post does not end with, “And that’s why I’m ET-ing.” (ET means early termination of service) I’m still finding the motivation I had before recent events to be a bit elusive, but I’m not going to quit. I can feel a change coming on as we speak!

I’ll end with a promise to be better about posting in the future. And for Grandpa, thank you for all of the memories and everything you taught me. Love you and miss you so much…